change in the flicker

When I realize that I’m approaching a glorious space of time when I have nothing planned to do, I often end up on the couch as a complete bum.  It’s a predicament.

Unfortunate, that the moment there is a desire to do something fun — simply for the sheer enjoyment of it — distraction descends.

Because while there is a glimmer of sparkling time when I am primed to catch the moment of joyful motivation.   The twinkle quickly dims.  Guilt finds me and offers suggestions of banality, “The dishwasher needs to be unloaded.  You’ve been thinking about organizing those files for six months.  And while we’re at it, just where do you think you’re going to put all those wedding gifts if you don’t start making room?”

It’s as if the desire for engagement and enjoyment triggered the school bell and prioritized math over recess.

And in the span of a snap redirection robbed my intention.

I guess Joseph Conrad was right.  Life really does happen in the flicker.


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