Struggle for Power

So far it appears that my retail transfer is to a store less trafficked than the one where I worked in Raleigh.

The slower pace and reduced hours has its advantages.  Actually, probably even more merits than detriments…  

The largest part of me believes that this opportunity provides a natural segue.  As retail hours diminish, and I continue to remember the pressures surrounding the expense of living here, I am further encouraged to focus on landing a full-time job. 

Because in addition to affording the regular expenses, Joe and I want to be able to fully enjoy the available pleasures of life: entertaining friends, traveling to far off places, investing in furniture.  We want to do those things out-right, guilt and debt free.  With integrity, discipline, and responsibility. 

But since I often want to take short-term actions in an effort to solidify my control in the present moment, I am having a hard time keeping quiet.  A small part of me wants to raise my hand and ask my boss if he can give me more hours or call another store and see if they can give me more hours, to stand on a soapbox and demand that I get what it thinks I deserve.  To force something that does not need to be pushed.

When I think about it from a position of detached emotion, I recognize the lunacy.  I just hope I can keep the lunacy in check long enough to let things develop.


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