I finally set down to wrestle with the application for a job that I want.
I’ve been putting it off.
Intellectually, I know that it’s really not that complicated. All I have to do is fill out the online application and send two introductory emails. And while I know that they probably shouldn’t, the introductory emails make me want to break out in hives.
Ridiculous or not, I am practically reverberating with nerves.
I don’t have a lot of faith in my Mind to Keyboard filter. My mom is right, I tell everything that I think I know. Because the tension of miscommunication makes me overhwelmingly uncomfortable.
I can’t always tell the difference between what not to share and what to just share a little bit of. And if I’m only sharing a morsel of information I don’t know where the line is between what is necessary and what may startle the living daylights out of somebody.
Essentially, I have no information boundaries. I am not the best negotiator, but an excellent persuader. I’m okay at poker.
I had to sit down and wrestle with this: write, rewrite, free write, draw diagramms…a lot of effort all to determine what to share and what to keep quiet about.