Last week I made one — possibly major — error in strategy.
Eventually, it’s bound to happen. Particularly if you choose to live haphazardly, like I have the past 2.5 years, shuffling through 5 states and almost as many jobs. Permanent commitments, lease dates, and opportunities to travel compete for priority, attention, and resources. And every so often, there is a week or two of pure chaos where it seems like there are decisions to be made on all fronts.
One decision tends to impact all the others.
And since I have a streak of overachievement, I choose to believe that everything that I want to do can be done. Apparent logistics be damned!
It puts a lot of pressure on me to feel like I’ve maximized my resources.
And last week — because I was in a frenzy — I prematurely rushed into action, which jeopardized the efficiency of two major resources: time and money.
How very frustrating.
Every morning since Thursday I’ve wanted to kick myself for my hurriedness. Intellectually, I know that my misstep is not a Big Deal. No one died, no one fell ill. But when my capacity for peak efficiency is threatened, an insecurity is triggered. One that involves an irrational belief that I am not resourceful enough, good enough, or patient enough.
So the last 4 days have been an exercise in simultaneously neutralizing my insecurity and not letting it wreck my day. It’s been tedious…like waiting for something I anticipate…and I’ve wanted to fight every minute of it…but in the long run it’s probably worth it.