When my computer worked, I did things in a different order.
I found inspiration and then I wrote a blog post. It was a method that I was really comfortable with because instinct guided me. Each day I was able to operate on a timeline that suited me that day. How luxurious!
The computer virus, though, changed the game.
Sometimes my opportunity to get to the library occurs before my inspiration for writing strikes. I worry about what I will write. Will it make sense or will it be a jumbled mess of incoherences and confusion? These questions can distress me because I like to know where I’m going and how I’m going to get there. I like to have a reasonable idea of how people might respond.
But I can’t always have that type of control. Sometimes I just have to trust that my intention, skill, and preparation might lead me somewhere else. Somewhere better than what my mind could have planned.
The computer virus and the library have turned out to be instruments with two jobs: to smooth my edges of control and sharpen my ability to transition.