Tomorrow is the much anticipated, big day. It is the day that I officially move to Raleigh.
I know. I’ve been talking about it long enough. But I can’t help it, I’m like Tom Carraway. The narrator-character in F. Scott Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby who is described as “full of interior rules that act as brakes on my desires”. I take a few steps of preparation and then wait to see how I feel about the direction I’m heading. I do this until I reach the point of feeling like I’m procrastinating (which is, of course, a diminishing return) and then dive in.
And now…it’s time to dive. Because I’m nervous, this is likely going to be a standard forward dive. Focused and to the point.
I have the start of a three part career plan, a to-do list for Wednesday, and a grocery list.
A grocery list?
Yes. It sounds kind of silly, but I was talking with my cousin the other day and uncovered this lapse in my plan. When I get to a new place, I immediately get amnesia. With all the new sights and sounds, I become overwhelmed. Everything appears glittery and all of a sudden I can’t remember my name or what I eat for breakfast. In previous moves this has not been such huge obstacle because I moved for a job; before long, I’d be on enough of a routine that I at least would remember to leave the house. (Another symptom of the Bright and Shiny Effect is that I sometimes get so paralyzed by all the newness that don’t know what to do next, or first, so I end up doing nothing.)
There is no room for that in this move. For one, I don’t have a job to act as the anchor of my routine. In the first few days, my success is largely going to measured in small accomplishments. Have I eaten breakfast? Did I go for a run and do yoga? Have I gotten in the car and set out to explore a new area? These might seem like silly questions and low standards of success, but it’s a starting point. And that’s all I need right now.
*I don’t really get amnesia, but I do become disoriented and forgetful. And while I don’t barricade myself in the house, I do rely more on the encouragement of others to get out and explore a new place. I tend to depend on their understanding of an area. This time, I’m interested in equally seeking out what I want to find and not just what finds me.