Luxury of Space

Disorder.  I am in a total state of disorder.
Things Move

Things Move

I thought that coming down here would be a good decision.  But right now it doesn’t feel good. I feel uncomfortable and vulnerable and nervous.  And I’m homesick. 

Homesick?

Homesick. 

This is something that I didn’t anticipate. 

For a long time, I fought against the urge to leave D.C. and now that I’m one step closer to officially doing it, I am engulfed in doubt over the decision.  And that’s embarrassing to admit. 

I thought that I would feel immediate relief.  I think I thought that if I could just get out of D.C. the sky would open up and troves of answers would fall down on me.  I know that is silly.  But things in D.C. almost slowed to a hault and I think I thought that if I could just get to a new place, a valve would open.

________________________________________________

Obviously, I was feeling kind of flustered earlier.  I was feeling like I’d made the wrong decision.  I’m often impatient.  When I make a decision, I expect the flow of life to rise up to meet the decision.  I expect it to happen N.O.W.  This is kind of a ridiculous expectation.  I know that.  But it’s a conditioned response.  And I’m trying to bring awareness to the irrational impatience so that it diminishes.   

Light Shifts

Light Shifts

I have learned that when I start to mire in negativity it is imperative that I distract myself somehow.  Yoga used to be the distraction.  One of my first blog posts focused on my struggle to submit to a healthy coping mechanism.  Yoga is still a part of my routine, but its function is different.  

So today I took some pictures.  I’m no photographer, but it’s a budding hobby and I’d like to indulge it.  So these pictures are some of the ones that I took today…I’m going to keep trying, so we’ll see what takes.

Thoughts Develop

Thoughts Develop

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