The Pencil Sharpener

I wish that I had a passion for something like pencil sharpening and that I thrived in an office with fluorescent lighting.  I’d sit in a chair that made my neck and back kink up and take pride in the fact that I sharpened a lot of pencils.  My work product would help ensure that things got done.  Because there would be no pens; just the pencils that I prepared.  Maybe I’d even have a cart so that I could go from one grey cubicle to the next granting freshly sharpened pencils to those who needed them.

These jobs would only exist in businesses of a certain size and in cities of a certain type.  Outsourcing would not exist and workers would not be able to sharpen their own pencils.  Entry to this position would be guaranteed to anyone who had a proven love of pencils.

This would answer the unanswered questions.  Where should I live?  In a city with a business that has a pencil sharpener.  How do I get this job?  Just prove my love of pencils.  Are there too many others trying to do what I’m trying to do?  There are only a finite number of pencil sharpening jobs.  If they are filled, do something else with pencils.

I would be satisfied knowing that my life was simple, uncomplicated, easily containable, and neatly categorized.  I would be someone who was content with that.



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3 responses to “The Pencil Sharpener

  1. jess G


    I feel like we had this conversation except insert the word “teeth”. “Some people love teeth. I need to find my teeth.” You are not as mundane as a pencil sharpener. Have you been drinking? (I have) You are the queen who needs the pencil to be sharpened. Besides that point of pep talking, we are more than what we do. Life is as simiple and uncomplicated as we make it. Do I need to take you back up to Angel’s Landing sister? On that point, perhaps the south-out-of-urban experince will do some good. Put the empahsis back in l-i-v-i-n instead of making a living. But let’s be honest. I think you would miss Joe. 🙂 How about that for condratictive advice?

  2. emcritt

    No Jess, I don’t think that I am as mundane as a pencil sharpener. This was meant to be kind of satirical. Do I actually want to sharpen pencils my whole life? No. But I’ve said this, sometimes I do wish I loved teeth or bones or something that comes with a stadium like that. Because both need an office that has all those instruments. I would never doubt my work-day surroundings because those surroundings would provide the tools I needed to work with the things that I loved (teeth or bones). And I feel like I AM l-i-v-i-n…I feel like asking these questions as part of my life (and not letting the questions hold me back)…this is livin’!

    • Lindsey

      Teeth…pencils…whatever gets you warm and fuzzy, they are somebody’s passion and that is the trick to everything. Or at least my Dad says that when you find something that you are passionate about, grab it and go, the rest falls in line. He never steers me wrong. Then again, he also told me that there was a pumpkin man living in our barn so I wouldn’t go outside at night and run around when I was little…

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