This morning I woke up on the wrong side of the unemployment bed, primarily agitated by a pending phone interview. The conversation is scheduled for Thursday; today is Monday. Even for me this altertness seems a little premature, particularly when juxtaposed (I love that word) against my ability to procrastinate. Because if history serves as any precedent, I should have at least three and half more days before any fluttering sets in.
But this doesn’t really feel like fluttering. It feels more like an anvil of dread dropped in my stomach. Confusing? Sure. For both of us.
The truth is: I applied for this job solely as a test. Or a dare.
Since the beginning of the year, I have applied for roughly 100 jobs. (I won’t describe how I know that this is a relatively accurate figure and probably a little low due to some lackadaisical record keeping.) But after some quick math, I have determined that my job application rate is roughly 6.25 jobs a week.
I don’t know where 6.25 jobs a week is on most unemployment productivity barometers, but when I considered things like:
- the time it takes to do a job search (some of which are not fruitful)
- tweaking the cover letter and resume to make them job or company specific
- holding a part-time, temporary job
- inability to invent jobs that sound interesting and sustaining
- websites that do not CONSTANTLY update with new postings
I felt that 6.25 jobs a week was a pretty solid search. I felt good about my consistency in dedication and stamina…until I didn’t. I completely lost faith in the job application process as we know it. Because out of those roughly 100 applications, I had received exactly 2 responses. The last was a depressing two and half months ago.
So I applied for this particular job to test the theory that my resume was not being read..anywhere. Hearing that hundreds of people are applying for each job noticed, I was convinced that Human Resource departments were not touching my application. And if they were, it was only as a transfer to the applicant landfill. But when I came across this posting, I knew that it had the chance to resuscitate my resume. I didn’t even consider if the job was something that I wanted to do; I just wanted to know if I was wasting my time applying for endless jobs.
Now it feels like those 97 other people were reading my resume, but they didn’t like what they saw. Now it feels like I should put some serious thought into doing something that I don’t want to do just because my experience fits. Because what happens to everyone’s good will if you turn down a “good ” job or take yourself out of the running for a full-time position?